The Ultimate Conference Weapon NetReaderBookPhone:

- Two screens that fold together like a book in order to protect them (about 9 inches each). One screen is a normal laptop LCD display and the other is e-ink. Both are tablet-style touch screens. The e-ink screen can be used to annotate and take notes as well as for reading, a la the Iliad.

- Ability to "twist" at the hinge so that either one of the screens may be hidden underneath the other one to protect it. The screen on the bottom automatically switches off so that it doesn't consume power. Incredibly low power consumption when just using the e-ink screen.

- The e-ink screen doubles as a touch-screen keyboard when both screens are open.

- Every type of wireless networking on the planet (including 802.whatever, 3G, EVDO, bluetooth). Intelligent switching so that only one set of wireless components is consuming power at any given time.

- GPS with iPhone style restrictions so that it does not consume too much power.

- Phone using built in speakers and microphone. Ability to connect to bluetooth headset and handset accessories.

- Both a DVI port and a VGA port for hooking up to projectors (or at least some kind of system that doesn't require me to remember to bring any dongles with me). Actually, scratch that. Let's have a dongle that connects to the projector, no display ports on the device, but the device connects to the dongle wirelessly so that I do not have to stand close to wherever the conference organisers have put the connector.

- A ridiculously large number of USB2.0 ports to allow the connection of keyboards, mice, ipods, cameras etc.

- Solid state drive, but also cones with an inordinately large amount of cloud storage that syncs automatically with your desktop/laptop.

- Comes with a shirt with pockets large enough to fit the device into.